On The Curious Behavior of Women On August 25th

Women are... curious.

May dawns, warm and bright. The world is revitalized with life and warmth, making the women happy that the long winter is over and allowing them to enjoy the fresh air.

June makes it's entrance, and soon most women realize that they do not like the heat. They had forgotten during winter how uncomfortable sweating is.

July blisteringly swings in, and the women find their lives in a hard place as air conditions struggle to keep up. They all begin to look ahead, longing for cooler temperatures and warm scented candles.

And then, August begins, and so begin the whispers. Murmurs, vague at first, then louder.

Fall is coming... fall is coming...

At first they are indistinguishable, mere traces of sound passed between them in furtive glances and over cups of coffee. The whispers begin growing louder. And then, August 25th arrives. The whispers are unveiled, the message presented for all to hear in a chanting chorus. All women stand together, arms locked, and, united together, sing,

Fall has come, autumn is here.

Bring in the sweaters, lift your latte in cheer.

Summer is over, the sweat and heat gone,

display fabric pumpkins on windowsill yon.

The men in their lives watch, confused. Then, after sharing disturbed glances with their brethren, don their hats and go out to mow the lawn in the 95° august heat.